I have been shown that I am not here to just talk about peace, but to purge my own mind of everything that is not peaceful and loving, and let my own self be healed. The only way to do so, is through exposing everything that is in need of the Light. Part of that process for me, happens to be through writing, and sharing in this blog.
Tom and I arrived here in California with the intention to visit friends and go on an adventure. Nothing was planned. The instant we stepped onto the land we both felt "this is exactly where we are suppose to be and its perfect!" We were asked to trust and have faith that all would work out. We have, and it IS.
We began this adventure in Frazier Park California, up in the mountains, attending some crops and truly exploring our ideas about our company MakeShyft R.D.A. We were no longer going to be non-for-profit, but a company at large. We were told that we were here to demonstrate a company that GIVES and a company that serves ALL the world, and so we are put on the SAME platform as all other companies. This made perfect sense as we are here to BE the demonstration. It also spawned in me time for stillness, contemplation and renewal around these new ideas.
Tom and I were invited to see a friend and he held us up in hotel for a weekend in LA. During this time, we felt the call to take a pregnancy test! It had been a while since I had my period and Tom mentioned it a few times. I finally agreed and When I got the news, guess what the news was.... yup! .... we are having a baby!!!! :) We have been preparing for this event in our minds for the last year and a half knowing that we were going to have a baby girl Ella and that it would be happening soon. We were and are very happy and overjoyed that this soul has chosen us as her parents here. This however posed us a new question.......are we to stay in California, or go home? Our visa was about to expire and either we were going to put all our money towards a visa extension OR a plane trip home....but we definitely couldn't do both. We prayed, gave our decision to God and asked to be shown what we were too do. All the guidance necessary that brought conviction in our choice came. It was an absolutely conclusive YES that we will stay in California and let the arms of the divine carry us the rest of the way, baby in belly and all!!! We celebrated with our friend, were thankful with each other and with God for this new addition to our life, and knew she was an addition to our life. That we are to still follow the steps laid before us and she will come along for the ride. It was exhilarating, but a bit scary at the same time. Because Tom and I were now on the same page headed in the same direction again... it was profound for us to have a baby coming and we were truly trusting we will be told all we need to know. And we were.
As soon as we went back up to the Mountains, the morning sickness hit me and my mornings were a complete write off. Because of this, I got to see that more stories were made in the mind of my roommate and more distance between us continued. This was the time to look at my own "daddy issues" as my roommate triggered alot of that in me. I went back to the moments in time in my mind that needed healing the most, and I let Spirit talk to me about it and show it to me in a way I could understand. I was clearing space of all the junk in my mind as to NOT pass it along to our baby girl. There was one day that everything collided, the energy fully shifted and it was time to leave. That very afternoon we had a friend come pick us up and take us back to his house along with all our things to settle in there for a short while.
So now Tom (my hubby) and I are here in LA, comfortable in our dear friends home. We have no money or real way of it coming in, no plane ticket home to Canada, pregnant and not sure the next steps after this one. We dont know where we are suppose to be, or what is most helpful at this time, we are just following the guidance given us one day at a time. We have applied to what is called YCombinator, an accelerator for startups and we were told we would hear back from them in the next few weeks. We are feeling called to the San Fransisco Bay area, but truly know nothing as to how this will all happen and transpire for us. We are literally in this place of trust, and we have nothing else.
Our life has already demonstrated to us that we are perfectly safe in following Gods PLan and we will ALWAYS be taken care of. There is no reason for this to stop now. We can fail in nothing. As long as we continue to listen, learn and do, we will be just fine. Its been tempting having the thoughts of the baby in my mind and wanting to settle down. But I know that all things will happen as they are intended to happen, and not how I "think" they should be. I am thus trying to remain vigilant in my mind for God and be as stable in my thinking as possible. I feel that all the "darkness" that was brought up in my mind while here in California was to prepare me for this pregnancy. Its allowing me to be free, healed and whole, that I may give ONLY Gods Love and trust to this beautiful baby and all the world. I feel that this has been just another demonstration, for myself, to show me that I AM choosing Gods plan over anything this world has to offer.... and because of this choice, all of us, are perfectly safe and perfectly taken care of.
Now we are waiting to hear back about our extension on our visa, as well as YCombinator and where we are to live after our time in LA is through. Perhaps we are to go back to Canada in a few weeks? Perhaps we are to stay here in California and travel else where? Perhaps something else unexpected will happen and take us in a totally new direction I have no clue.... but I wish to be where ever God wills me to be, and because of this, I am okay being patient and waiting for the next step to be given us. May Gods Will be done.